| Kristen Stewart Sort Of Pretends To Be A Lesbian Again |
 The stars of Twilight are starting to realise that breaking away from Twilight will be harder than they thought. Look at Robert Pattinson. His new film Remember Me limped into the lower quarters of the weekend box office on Sunday precisely because he wasn’t playing a creepy old vampire who keeps trying to have it off with schoolgirls. And, admit it, it’s only a matter of time before Taylor Lautner gives up acting to become a full-time dancer for gay chatline commercials.But Kristen Stewart? She knows that the only way to secure an audience for herself post-Twilight is to dabble in half-hearted lesbianism every now and then. That’s why – ahead of her new film where she kisses Dakota Fanning – Kristen Stewart has called Lady Gaga ‘hot’. It’s controversial – not because of the lesbian implications, but because only an idiot would think that Lady Gaga is hot. We don’t read much Twilight fan-fiction – because a) we’re adults and b) to our knowledge, nobody has ever written a piece of Twilight fan-fiction where all the principal characters get locked in a metal trunk and buried in the desert – but we’d imagine that most of it would be about Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner getting it on with each other. Increasingly, though, it looks like that’s way off the mark – because if any same-sex Twilight stars are going to hook up, it’ll be Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. Outside of Twilight – where Kristen Stewart plays Bella and Dakota Fanning presumably plays the creepy-eyed child vampire who weirds everyone out whenever she talks (we haven’t seen it) – Kristen and Dakota are set to star in The Runaways, the film where nothing happens for ages and then Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning kiss even though they’ve both got really crap haircuts. The kissing scene is a brilliant ploy. It’s essentially Kristen Stewart showing that she doesn’t just want to make films for chubby, incontinent teenagers any more. She wants to make films for chubby, incontinent lesbian teenagers. If she has to kiss the freaky toddler from War Of The Worlds, then so be it. And if she has to pretend that she finds Lady Gaga attractive as well, then so be that too. MTV reports: “She’s really hot,” Kristen Stewart told MTV News about Gaga. “She’s got a look.” Co-star Dakota Fanning concurred: “I am a fan of Lady Gaga because I think she’s a really good singer and a really great entertainer and when you watch her perform, you know it’s going to be a show. I think that’s really cool.” Still, whatever the thought processes behind it, we’d like to wish Kristen Stewart all the best with her faux-lesbianism. Hopefully making a bold statement like this will only lead to bigger and better things for her – after all, it certainly worked for Lindsay Lohan. Oh, no, wait.
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